Zach Ahmad: Beyoncé’s equal.

In my ongoing quest of having things to say, here is a thing. Do I need more explanation? Well, the character can probably speak for himself. He has lovely things to say. Because he’s cocky as hell. This is from a story I’m currently working on.

~

Zach

Zach, the man, the myth, the legend enjoyed another wonderful night. Believe me, recounting tales of my charms and exploits might be in my top five favorite hobbies, but another matter demanded attention the next morning. Or at least, my father followed me into the kitchen when I woke up sometime closer to afternoon than morning.

Wait. This cannot be stressed enough. Deep down, cross my heart, gun to my head, I truly believed I could be best friends with Beyoncé. If our paths ever crossed, she would think my style game was on point, and not only would we get along, she would be the one eager to make my acquaintance. She would think, ‘damn, I need him in my life. I might learn something.’

That was the level I generally operated at. Zach Ahmad: Beyoncé’s equal.

Thoughts like these gave me comfort when interacting with my father and during other moments of adversity when I more closely resembled, unfortunately, an utterly basic bitch.

Books, yay!

Recently, I joined BookFunnel, which is great because it gives me stuff to talk about. So you know, that’s what I’m going to talk about. This may be the most straight forward introduction to a blog post I’ve ever made, go me.

One group I joined is for YA Coming of Age Books.  Most of these are contemporary and straight romances. One book with queer characters and a cover I like is After the Fall by Brad Graber. It’s about a teenager girl on a quest to find out more about her mother.

Rikki, a teenager being raised in New York City, has a secret. She can’t remember her mother. Whenever she asks her grandmother a question, the older woman falls apart and refuses to discuss the matter. Desperate to learn the truth, Rikki finds a hidden album with family photographs. Can the boy in the picture with her mother be a long lost uncle? Determined to unlock the mystery, she embarks on a journey to meet Harry, a writer who is struggling with his own issues of identity.

This group lasts until the 15th, so yes, I am last minute like usual. Pretend this post is happening a week ago when it was supposed to before my computer charger broke and I had to order a new one.

Some of the other promotions I joined for August are these, Summer Laughs and Happy End of Summer. Summer Laughs offers giveaways and all the books in the other one are on KU. I will tell you more about these later because then I can make another post. I mean, because of another sensible reason.

Superpowers and the Powerpuff Girls (hey, those topics are related!)

I would never repeat myself, but it’s possible I’ve said this next bit before. But I’m going to say it again anyway, even though it’s not entirely new, and you’ve perhaps heard this already. I hate repetition and also being subtle, apparently. Yes, I repeated myself intentionally in this paragraph to be hilarious. I will give you a second to laugh and collect yourself after my wit nearly knocked you over.

While I was about to say something else, I’m now off topic. Because I thought of Mojo Jojo, who always repeats an idea in new ways, and I’m going to put a picture here. Why? Evil monkey! That’s the best answer to any question ever. And in general, an evil monkey is a great idea. I know someone whose nickname is JoJo, and sometimes they like sharing their name with a cartoon monkey supervillain, and sometimes they get angry at being called ‘Mojo Jojo.’

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When trying to type ‘Google’ after ‘Mojo Jojo, I typed ‘gogo.’ Pic from Pinterest.

Back to what I was originally going to say, the deleted scene I’m going to post talks about superhuman abilities. I’m almost positive I put my superpowers in the back of one of my books, but I’m not sure which one. I don’t think it’s in all of my books, so this might be new information if you haven’t read that one book this is also from, or if you skip the author section at the end of novels.

After accidentally building this up, my superpowers will be anticlimactic. Oops! I never trip over untied shoelaces, and I can lose anything in the most annoying way possible. Is my debit card still missing after I misplaced it a few weeks ago? No way! Ahem, those are my superpowers. And now for a character from One Little Lie talking about some stuff I also talked about.

P.S. Luke from this series is Bubbles from the Powerpuff Girls. Ryan is Buttercup. I’m proud of myself for getting those names right as at first they were respectively ‘the one in blue’ and the ‘the one in green.’

~

My name is Luke Chambers and I’m a superhero. Once upon a time, I thought I was an ordinary guy. Sure, I was good looking and athletically gifted but that was genetics and practice. Now, I had a strange gift I hadn’t asked for.

That’s the only thing that makes sense. Only I could keep taking awkward, potentially bad situations and making them infinitely more complicated. I used to be suave, so my ability to mess things up had to be supernatural. It was a superpower. I was Bad Idea Man. Okay, that’s not the best name for a superhero, but like I said, I’m not so good with bright ideas.

My parents thought I was dating a girl, and I hadn’t corrected them yet, so it was time for the Luke’s an Idiot Explanation Tour. I’d done this tour before. Who did I want to face first: Ryan or Lydia? Lydia would be brutal, but maybe she’d give me some advice about how to fix this or how to tell Ryan in a way that didn’t get me in trouble. I couldn’t think of one, but as she liked to tell me, I was dumb.

Plus, getting through this conversation with Lydia meant I could see Ryan next, like a reward.

I thought about telling the truth to my parents last night. In fact, that was all I had done. I laid on my bed and worried about it, which was surprisingly exhausting as I fell asleep early and still didn’t feel rested when I woke up. Maybe if this conversation somehow went well and was over quickly, I could take a nap. I had a game later today.

 

Fashionably Late, scene from M/M romance

On every other Monday, I post deleted scenes and outtakes and whatnot from my novels. I’ve been doing this for a while, and I never stopped at all… okay, do you see where I’m going with this? If not, then yes, everything is going according to plan, and I’m awesome.

But it’s possible I stopped posting these for a while. I guess I don’t have to point it out. I could just pick up where I left off and pretend I never got off track… I believe in honesty and transparency or something? Mostly, I’ve already started writing this post, so I’m gonna keep going.

Here is a different version of a scene from One Little Lie. You don’t need any knowledge of this series to read this, but helpful information to know is: Ryan is here, he is queer, and actually, he’s not here. Because he’s late. Ryan is trying to meet his boyfriend before school starts, but he isn’t on time.

~

Ryan

Luke Chambers is the popular golden boy who charms teachers and parents, has an easy smile for everyone, and gets along with people. Basically, he’s completely different from me, but there’s just so much I like about him. You know, in a totally mature and reasonable manner and not like I’m some tween girl with a crush who writes his name in little hearts.

Just… he has a strong throwing arm and sandy blonde hair. And he’s my idiot boyfriend who is so fun to tease. He’s ridiculous, fun, and unexpectedly sweet. Sure, he’s unbearable like 40% of the time, but we can make out now. It’s easier to forgive anything after making out.

Maybe I  have a notebook full of doodles including his name, my name, and various versions of our names smushed together, surrounded by hearts and flowers. It’s kept at home where it’s safe. I’m a scientist. It started as an experiment where I wondered if people actually did stuff like that, and then it was kinda fun to write, “Ryan and Luke 5eva.” Somehow I filled up a bunch of pages or whatever. Shut up.

Let’s talk about something less embarrassing.

My sweet, considerate boyfriend was the reason I arrived at school early. That asshole. Already ten minutes behind schedule, I moved through the halls as quickly as possible without outright running. It would be just my luck to run into a hall monitor for the first time ever while my boyfriend waited for me, tapping his foot and furrowing his brow slightly in a frown that I’d want to kiss away, but he wouldn’t let me because he’d be cranky.

Did we even have hall monitors? Would there be a hall monitor before school started? Probably not. Okay, that was one less thing to worry about.

The plan had been to meet at my locker, but I went to Luke’s anyway, figuring he gave up on me. I could already feel the pissed off vibes emanating from Luke as I turned onto the hallway where his locker was located. He was pretty good at hissy fits for someone who was supposedly macho and straight before me, but I doubted he’d take that as a compliment.

Life advice I’ve never taken: be slightly less unhinged

For some reason, I uploaded a bunch of image quotes I made for One Little Word all at the same time. I guess I was trying to be helpful and have them all in one place, which mostly means I have no idea which ones I’ve used already. This might not be a problem for those with better memories, but I’m only slightly exaggerating when I say I don’t even remember how I started this sentence.

Every time I post a quote, I resist the overwhelming urge to add that I’m pretty sure I haven’t posted this one yet. But maybe I have, so let’s just gloss over it if I posted this last week too. I figure putting it out there once is enough. In summation, if I post quotes more than once, please be cool about it. Thanks!

Also, yes, I did only say be cool because it’s in the quote below.

This excerpt involves a boy flipping out because he’s about to have lunch with another boy. This second boy is open to the possibility of being attracted to the first boy, which is where the insanity comes from. I could have just used their names instead of calling them boys, but I’m telling myself it’s too late to change that now.

Being attracted to someone is a totally understandable reason to be a lunatic. No, that’s not true at all. It’s not okay to be a lunatic in a dangerous way when you like someone. But it is okay to be a gigantic nervous weirdo in the romance department, lots of people aren’t smooth operators.

By reading this, you might think Ryan is a gigantic nervous weirdo when he has a crush. I want you to know that’s not true at all. Ryan is a gigantic nervous weirdo always, but in this case, he happens to be a weirdo and have a crush at the same time. This is an important distinction (no, it’s not.)

 

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Ryan

I had butterflies. Stupid, gigantic butterflies, furiously beating their wings inside my stomach. Was I going to burst into song? Was I going to throw up? Maybe!

Hopefully, I wouldn’t do either of those things. I just couldn’t say for sure.

I willed myself to still from where I was vibrating out of my skin. Be cool. No, that was impossible… be slightly less unhinged. I could try that.

Okay, I would walk into the cafeteria and sit down with the baseball guys, something I’d done multiple times before. No big deal.

Only…

There was a particular guy at the table. One who was interested. In me! He may not be Luke, but the problem was that Luke wasn’t interested.

Surely I’d gotten the neuroticism out last night. I went through every piece of clothing I owned trying to find the right thing to wear. I eventually picked out my best fitting pair of jeans, a black t-shirt, and a green plaid shirt to layer with. No need to dress up too much. Or drive myself crazy.

Or drive myself crazier? Because I was jumping up and down, just a little, where I stood. I tried to stop… nope, still rocking on my heels. I felt extremely excited.

 

Presenting a revolutionary new character, the Moody Teenage Girl

This mood board could speak for itself and I think I’m mostly going to let it. Except to say, hi, this is a mood board for the character Lydia from One Little Word. If you have questions, please refer to the image below. It’s literally all there.

I have nothing in common with Lydia, except that we both happen to be attracted to women, except she’s only attracted to women and I’m not, so maybe that doesn’t count. She’s one of the easiest characters to write even though we aren’t alike at all. Maybe it helps that she hates everything.

Lydia Smith could be a girl on a poster, beautiful and unattainable in a sweater that hugged her cleavage. Her black hair would get caught in the wind for a few seconds and whip around her face, making her look like a model. She smoked on top of the backrest of a bench, her legs hanging down on the seat. She had a free period and never spent it inside in a classroom when she could be a rebel instead.

We get it, you’re cool. That doesn’t mean you need to wreck your health with cigarettes or sit outside even though the weather’s getting cold

Ryan!

As someone who will use any excuse for a moodboard, I really like moodboards for some reason, here’s one for the character Ryan from One Little Word I have definitely made art for OLW before, but this is new art. And I’m pretty sure I didn’t use the “as a gay scientist” picture the first time, such a missed opportunity and travesty. Plus, I’m celebrating the new edition of the book.

 

There was a lot to Ryan.

I couldn’t force any baseball knowledge into his brain unless he thought a player was hot, but he absorbed science facts like a sponge. He listened to weird bands I’d never heard of, but they played good music. He was a devoted son, and he loved pasta but was so bad about not getting sauce on his face.

 

I’m not sure this is related, but in my head it is, so that’s close enough for me, as I’m you know, the one writing this. David from Schitt’s Creek kind of reminds me of Ryan because they’re both opinionated, sarcastic, and awkward. Which is as good a reason as any to post a clip of David being cute with his boyfriend.

 

 

 

Acting is as hard as having a fake boyfriend.

Putting on a production worthy of the stage, Ryan and Luke are fake boyfriends acting in a very weird show for dubious personal gain. And they’re actually really bad at acting, but since I’m tying this into the theater it sounded better to say they were stage worthy.  No, it still works. A comedy of errors is a thing, so that’s what they are.

It only now occurs to me that I don’t actually have to reference the theater because this story takes place after the characters see a play, but it is, you know, after that. So fake boyfriends Ryan and Luke are at an after party where Luke thinks thoughts.

While I wouldn’t say Luke was straight until Ryan came into his life, I would say he had no idea liking guys was an option for him until, well, not this part. He still doesn’t know that, but it’s helpful information to know to avoid being as confused as him.

So Luke is at a party and nothing makes sense, which is par for the course of his life lately. This scene is sort of in the book One Little Word, but this is a different version.

Luke

I expected Zach to watch the spectacle of me and Ryan like it was quality entertainment. I wasn’t even surprised when he brought microwave popcorn to lunch one day, the perfect snack while he watched the show. He was around laughing at my expense, but I secretly appreciated that.

Zach and Joey knew this wasn’t real, hell half the school probably believed the true rumor Alicia and Lydia started, but they didn’t know for sure. It helped that Zach did, that there was someone who knew it wasn’t like that and treated me just the same, like I was there to amuse him.

So while him being a total jerk comforted me in one sense, I also appreciated a break from Zach at the play. The theater wasn’t what he considered quality entertainment. Ryan and I hadn’t really gone together, but Lydia didn’t respond to my texts, so the two of us technically went together.

I had to figure out a way to get Lydia while pretending to be with Ryan. I was meeting with the scholarship guys, I would get on their radar, and hopefully things would go from there. They wouldn’t have to know I was dating Lydia; I was getting good at hiding things.

No, that was being unfair. To myself. Maybe I was having a conscience. I had no time for anything pesky like that. My family wasn’t rich, so I needed scholarships as much as anyone. And I was an ally, I was part of that whole LGBT+ thing, right? So, I counted. I knew this should be wrong. Why didn’t I feel that guilty about it?

This was the perfect time to make something happen with Lydia, but I ended up babysitting Ryan.

Maybe that wasn’t fair. He was normally pretty entertaining, but he was hilarious when drunk. I’d get distracted and turn back to Lydia, but Alicia was keeping her company, so I’d make sure Ryan didn’t accidentally kill himself somehow. He broke his leg totally sober, so it could happen.

Lydia and Alicia were giggling about something on one side of me, and Ryan’s head fell on my shoulder. We were supposed to be dating, so I let it happen, but the moment felt weirdly intimate as a slower song started to play.

Well, it felt weirdly intimate for a second or two, until a third wheel stood in front of us.

“Zach!” Ryan yelled right in my ear, the full force of that dopey drunk grin now turned on my best friend.

What was he doing here? “You didn’t even come to the show,” I pointed out.

“Gross,” he said. Then he nodded to Alicia. “No offense.”

“I had to sit through a baseball game for these two.” She gestured to me and Ryan. “I totally get it.”

“That’s like a party foul,” I insisted.

“I brought booze,” Zach added, holding up a dark-colored bottle of something he purchased with his fake I.D. It wasn’t like he could steal liquor from his house. Oh yeah.

He really should know this, but in case he didn’t, I informed him, “Muslims aren’t supposed to drink.”

He sent me an incredulous look. “No one here is supposed to drink. We’re all minors.”

So as I understood it, “That makes you, like, double wrong.”

“Ignore him,” Lydia said to my best friend while keeping her eyes on the alcohol. “You’re totally welcome.”

 

That Moment When…

For a second, I thought I threw in a casual reference to another gay YA novel with my title but then I realized it’s actually That Feeling When.

Okay, I’m calling this ‘that moment when you’re reading a romance book and you know things  the main character doesn’t, so you yell helpful stuff at them like they can hear you.’ This is from The Forbidden by Dante Cullen.

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Because you’re going to fall in love! Duh.

Since this reminds me of a graphic I made for One Little Word, I’m going to post it too.

 

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Because you lovvvvvve him. Or actually, it’s more because Ryan is really annoying and you also have a crush on him. Close enough.

You’ve already posted this quote before, I’ve told myself multiple times. Are you sure, I ask me next. Pretty sure, I reply. I should check just in case, I decide and then I agree with me. And then my dog tells me to pay attention to her or I see something outside or whatnot and I get distracted. Until today, when I finally see that, no, I have not yet posted this quote.

The quote is from Summer Romance, and it’s available on Amazon.

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