Tina Turner is still alive

Did you know the song Simply the Best is by Tina Turner? If you’re me, you definitely didn’t know that until right now. And if your first question after hearing the name Tina Turner is, hey, is she still alive? Yes! She’s Swiss now so that’s cool.

True story, I don’t like ballads. Which is less a story and more a sentence about my musical preferences. Simply the Best is no exception, so I’m not a fan of the song. However, I do like Tina Turner and have vague memories of trying to dance like her when I was a toddler. It’s a really good thing no photographic evidence of that exists because it sounds very embarrassing for me.

As someone with no musical ability, it’s crazy how someone can take a song and sing it differently and then I love it. Is it magic? I have no idea! I really love this version of the song by Noah Reid.

 

 

A little bit of…

Friendly reminder to live your life with this much confidence. Not that I’m telling you what to do. I’m going through a Schitt’s Creek phase, so this is mostly just my excuse to post this video. Maybe it’s not good to be so oblivious to one’s own flaws, but on the other hand, if you don’t know about your weaknesses, you can’t let them stop you.

It makes me happy that all I had to do was type “a little” into Youtube and it knew what I wanted.

 

If you outlaw love, only criminals will have guns. Wait what?

What should I title this post? I asked myself while looking at the image, which was literally all that I had on the page. Hey, my brain pointed out, that’s almost a Ke$ha song. Then, upon invoking her name, glitter rained down on me and unicorns were also there or something.

Bonus Ke$ha thoughts!

Anyway, I have to talk about Ke$ha. Guess what? I like Ke$ha. Does she still do the dollar sign in her name? I wanna say no but that’s a hard habit to break. Also, I have to say the same Kesha fact I say literally every time she’s brought up, which is that she’s really smart! Because you can be the patron saint of partying and hangovers and still have a brain, so that’s inspirational or something.

Once, I went to one of her concerts and what I remember is a giant pear costume and a giant penis costume. Along with a mother of some grade schoolers a few rows ahead of my group, who gave up at the point the giant penis entered the stage and she promptly took her children somewhere more family-friendly.

I don’t remember the context for the giant pear. And the context for the giant penis was that I was at a Ke$ha concert.

This is my favorite song of hers, entirely because it is very fun to do the ‘rrrrr” parts of tigerrr or Budweiserrr.

The Original Point

Sharing an image quote from One Little Word is what I originally set out to do, so I should probably do that now.

True story, the app I have for making these graphics is just for my phone where the screen is obviously much smaller. So everything looked fine there but now I don’t think I centered the text right. The important thing is I tried.

Ryan is an embarrassing nerd who likes Luke, and he would really like all of this to not be true, but he’s in a gay romantic comedy, so he doesn’t get his wish. Here are more of his feelings on the matter:

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Dudes Making out in a Car: A Short Story

Man, I’m so great at titles. However, it is accurate and to the point (two things I rarely am).

This is what I’m calling a quick writing exercise because that makes it sound professional and official, but really, I was going to post a song on this blog and then I decided to write a short story with it. Since I’m, you know, a writer.

The song is Little Secrets by the band Passion Pit.

And now, here’s a short story!

Panted breaths after dashing to the car were the only sound in the enclosed spaced for one blissful moment while my hands dug into his styled dark hair, relishing the chance to mess it up while his hands settled on my chest.

Lips brushed against mine, a quick kiss and then, “No, we’re not really doing this,” he whispered in the space between our mouths.

“Making out in your car?” My smirk couldn’t be seen, but he could feel it against his lips. “I hate to tell you, but it kinda seems like we are.”

He put space between us, furrowed brow and annoyed dark eyes watching me from thick framed glasses that were either the style these days or he just didn’t care if they weren’t in fashion.

“In theory, the whole throw caution to the wind thing?” he carried on. “It’s hot, having to get our hands on each other immediately–”

Since he was watching, I didn’t let myself smile, but that was so him, having to say things that didn’t need to be said.

“However, there’s a limit to the thrill,” he continued. “It’s also extremely risky—”

While I could only stand to look away from him and outside of the car for a moment, it was pretty clear what was out there. Bright sky, no raindrops on this dry day, and the car stayed where it was despite the two guys that just rushed to it, so yeah, wasn’t hard to figure out what was going on if someone saw us. However…

“Some risks are worth taking,” I responded before surging up and crashing our lips together, my hands moving to his back and drawing him nearer to me.

He made a little annoyed noise at being interrupted that quickly turned into a groan and then our tongues were dancing together. Really surprising that worked, but I wasn’t gonna say anything because I’d have to remove my mouth from his.

“Risks are best undertaken only after a thorough cost-benefit analysis,” he told me a moment later.

“Sexy—”

“Isn’t the whole point of a secret relationship that it stays secret? Hidden. Everything we’ve been doing, all the caution we expended could be set asunder in this one moment.”

I sighed, giving him an even look. This wasn’t what I wanted at all, but I managed to sound neutral when asking, “Okay, so you wanna go somewhere else?”

Expecting him to get off me and move into the driver’s seat, my hands tightened, as if to confirm he was still there, watching me with a frown.

“Huh,” he said quietly. “I guess we’ll just have to… risk it.” He didn’t want to leave this moment either.

“No cost-benefit analysis?” This time, he could see the smirk, which made it widen as I wryly commented, “I’m honored.”

He shut me up with his lips.

There were many things I thought of for this scenario. One of the guys involved could be the president’s son, one of them could be a vampire and the other a werewolf, maybe they come from rival warring families. An innocent preacher’s son and the bad boy next door. Something like that.

Good morning! A greeting and a song all in one

I like posting music on this blog because sharing good songs is fun, and it gives me something to post about. Plus, I get to pretend that I know things about music.

All I really know is whether I like a song or not. Which means that when I do post songs, I never know what else to say, other than, hey, here’s a song! Do you see where I’m going with this?

Hey, here’s a song!

This is Good Morning by Max Frost. Oh, there is one other thing I can say. For inspiration and to get pumped up and whatnot, sometimes I play this song in, duh, the morning.

Mimosa holy ghost running through ya
Hell yeah, it’s a new hallelujah

Baby it’s a brand new day
Ain’t no clouds hanging over me
Something doesn’t feel the same
The rest of my life gonna start today

Also because writer and I like words and stuff, I included some of my favorite lyrics. Why not? I can do what I want, I make the rules. Well, no I don’t. Making rules is too orderly and if I made them, I’d need to remember them.

Good morning!

Cookie Monster and Lizzo for some reason

Everything exists on the internet, especially things you wouldn’t expect to be real in a million years. And while a lot of this stuff is disturbing, some of it isn’t. Like, for example, a Lizzo and Cookie Monster collaboration.

Why did Cookie Monster and Lizzo remix her insanely popular song? I have no idea. Again, why? I still have no idea. It’s cute though.

It’s all on twitter right now, but who knows, she could on Sesame Street in a few months doing a duet with Cookie Monster.

Life Advice I’ve Never Taken: You need to calm down

This song is life, according to a friend of mine. If you disagree, take it up with Megan.

Every famous gay person in the world is in this video, so I’m posting it. There will be enough times when I’m off topic, but as every famous gay person in the world is in this video, this doesn’t count. I’m barely even exaggerating.

Once, I saw something where Taylor Swift was called Gaylor Swift. In an affectionate way, naturally. That’s maybe not that clever, but I remembered it.

Excerpt from One Little Problem

Here’s a sample from the beginning of One Little Problem, available on June 16 and for pre-order now.

Ryan

OH WOW, MY LIFE IS SO TERRIBLE BUT AT LEAST THERE’S A HOT GUY TO LOOK AT WHILE EVERYTHING GOES TO HELL. ALSO, I’M A SPAZ.

Just figured I’d put that out there. Draw people into my story, make my life relatable and not totally perfect because who wants to read about someone who’s got everything and having the time of their life? Well, hopefully someone is interested in that… I certainly am.

Because, yeah, my life rocks. But don’t go anywhere! It didn’t always rock. I used to have only one friend and everyone hated me because I was the lone out gay kid in this Midwestern conservative farming town, which was totally  unfair because if they actually got to know they’d see I have several other qualities that others might call annoying, but I called charming, and hate me for those instead. But no, they didn’t even take the time to hate me for who I am, so rude.

There was just me and my one friend Alicia and my dad and I had no love life, no life of any kind. But then Luke Chambers came into my life and now? Things were pretty good now.

“Okay, okay, okay,” I said, holding my hands up to stop Luke from talking more even though he might not have a clear view of that because he was driving. “I refuse to be associated with Post Malone in any way.” I felt very strongly about that; it was a matter of principal.

This was very serious business. The last Big Relationship Decision—or Luke and Ryan Being Disgusting as our friends called it; our friends were tools—was deciding nicknames. Now we needed a song. Why? Because relationship. That’s why.

“What about the new Jonas Brothers song?” I asked Luke.

Luke didn’t even think about my suggestion. “Even you aren’t that gay,” he joked, keeping his eyes on the road. He was driving, I wasn’t, so I happily put my eyes on him. He wore a blue t-shirt that hugged his shoulders, and his aftershave smelled woodsy and intoxicating.

He was gorgeous, but I glared at him anyway. “How dare you imply there are limits to my gayness?”

“You’re right,” he conceded. “My mistake.” He looked over at me for a moment with a goofy smile that showed off his dimples.