About the Author: Two Truths and a Lie

Oh, you’d like to know more about me? Well, whether the answer is year or no, I’m trying to make this blog more… you know, bloggy, with like, posts about stuff. Blogs have posts. If you somehow didn’t know that, now you do, so there I go providing knowledge already.

index
Not the kind of icebreaker I’m talking about, but I wanted to add an image.

If I were being vain, I’d say something along the lines of why not talk about my favorite subject: myself. But I’m probably not my favorite topic. That list definitely goes: nephews, pets, TV, queer culture, chocolate, and then myself somewhere down the line. Hey, maybe I should talk about all that other stuff instead… eh, might as well do this since I already decided.

Have you ever played the icebreaker two truths and a lie? Well, it doesn’t really matter whether you have or not because the name of the game kind of explains it all, but I’m going to explain it anyway. I tell you three things and then you guess which one the lie is and then a good time is had by all and we become BFFs forever. Yep, that’s totally how it works. No take backs, you’re already playing.

Two Truths and One (1) Lie
But which is which? Can’t say, that’s literally the game.

  • I’ve gone streaking and skinny dipping more than once because I’m a total badass. (that’s right, alluding to nudity and ~illicit activities~, I’m hip and you want to follow my blog now)
  • I don’t know how to ride a bike because I’m a total badass who is also lame. (And now I’m also admitting to my deep, dark secret shame! What trilling content I write!)
  • Once upon a time, I could roller-skate, but the last time I tried I almost broke my leg.
dont-break-the-ice-450x317
Also not what I’m talking about, but this game is rad.

So, which one is fake? You can’t see me right now, but I’m making an inscrutable poker fake. I threw in a bonus lie just for you! I don’t have a poker face; my trick is I just make ridiculous faces the entire time instead of trying to be cool and nonchalant because those are two things I’m not great at, but I do love winning stuff and am fairly competent at distracting people with inane chatter and ridiculous faces.

Anyway. *drum roll*

The lie is….

~Dramatic tension~

Number three!

I was in California sight seeing at a beach and we decided to rent skates and bikes. As one of my truths explains, I never learned how to ride a bike, so I went with the skates. I had skated before, a lot actually, though only indoors at skating parties in middle school. I rented the skates, tried to move, and immediately fell down hard on the pavement, injuring my arm and not my leg.

So there you go… two truths and a lie. I am terrible at knowing how to end things. Hit that like and subscribe button? Isn’t that what youtubers say? Is that applicable here? Anyway, bye…

Bye!

 

Advertisements

Vocab

book-3259352_960_720Do you own a dictionary? I’m not sure I do. The internet takes care of that for me. The only problem is that you can’t flip to a random page of an internet dictionary and start looking for challenging words. You need an idea of what you want to look up. Typing in “hard words” just gives you the definition for ‘hard’ or ‘words’.

This was my super serious predicament when writing What Love Means where spelling bees serve as a backdrop for the action. Luckily, vocabulary.com was around to help me out. That might be the nerdiest thing I’ve ever said and I have a few seasons of Star Trek on DVD.

Apparently, the site does more than help authors find challenging spelling bee words.  I think you’ll be happy to know that at least one queer book is popular/important enough to have a vocab list on the site.

Way to go, Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda. You’re official. You can see the vocab here or here.  It’s split into chapters and includes the word, definition, and sentence the word was used in during the book.

In the spirit of list, I made my own little vocab list for What Love Means.

Dumbass
A super stupid person, usually Max.

Her parenting advice normally involved stern words and phrases like ‘stop being a dumbass’ and ‘make smart decisions because I’m not paying for bail.’

Yuppie
Cal Winthrop-Scott. That’s all. That’s the whole definition.

Cal looked preppy and chipper in the afternoon light. He’d look like a perfectly modern yuppie tool if he had a sweater tied around his neck to complete the picture.

Marijuana
An illicit drug.

What would it be like to kiss Max after he smoked? Would I get a contact high from probing my tongue into his mouth? Maybe I should buy some pot and smoke with him. Oh god, I was addicted. All it took was one puff. Marijuana really was a gateway drug!

Flirting
What Cal and Max can’t help doing with each other.

I wasn’t entirely comfortable with him hitting on me here in the light of day while I was stone sober and at my old prep school, until he closed off for a second and left me bereft. I apparently didn’t like him not flirting with me either.

Frustration
dissatisfaction due to an unresolved problem.

I wanted to throw my body on him and bruise him, get all my frustrations out with my lips and teeth and have him do the same to me.

Feelings
Max’s  biggest foe.

I shouldn’t lose my cool again and act all… emotional like a person with feelings, a guy with a heart just waiting to get it broken.

Nerd
What everyone but Max is. Usually, this is a bad thing. Usually.

Cal was so cute when he was being an uptight nerd, and it was fun to get him to loosen up. Shit, I had it bad.

This has been your vocab lesson for the day. I’m sure you’re much smarter now. You’re welcome.

Get to Know Max

quote6.png

I found some questions online about relationships. These are answered in the point of view of Max from my story What Love Means.

Have you ever been in love?
Ew. Why bother?

Have you ever had your heart broken?
I’m more of a heart breaker than the heart broken.

What does a successful relationship look like to you?
Finding a private spot to hook up, hooking up, and then both people go their separate ways.

What happened in your last relationship?
I’d have to have had a relationship to have a last relationship.

Are you friends with your former boyfriends or girlfriends?
I’d sound like a dick if I wondered what the point of that was, wouldn’t I? Well, it’s a good thing I don’t have any former boyfriends or girlfriends to be friends with.

What was your parents’ relationship like?
Oh fuck no.

 

If you could go on a date with a celebrity, who would it be and why?
Uh, Ryan Reynolds is pretty hot. Maybe Chris Pine… but my honest answer is absolutely Neil deGrasse Tyson. He’s humorous, intelligent, and he removed a planet from the solar system; that’s pretty badass.

 

Get To Know Cal

quote5

I’ve chosen some questions from one of those ‘get to know me’ surveys for Cal from my book What Love Means to answer. They’re written from his point of view.

Get to know Cal Winthrop-Scott

What time do you wake up most mornings?
Around six for school. Earlier if I forgot to iron my clothes for the day. I mean, six, and never earlier because my family has a maid that does the ironing. I totally don’t even pay attention to ironing and have no preferred way for my slacks to be creased. What 17-year-old boy does? Definitely not me.

What do you do to relax at the end of a stressful day?
What is this ‘relax’ you speak of? I don’t think I’ve heard of it before and I know many words since I used to compete in spelling bees. At the end of a stressful day (everyday), I thank whatever gods are listening the day is over and count down the days until I can legally consume liquor.

Where did your last kiss take place and with whom?
I don’t remember the specific logistics, but it had to be with my ex-girlfriend Katie. And– no, the less said about this the better.

Do/did you get into trouble a lot at school?
Of course not! I’m on the honor roll.

Do you often pick up on double entendres and innuendos?
Yes, unfortunately. I wish I didn’t as I have a friend… acquaintance… associate? A, um, Max who makes many innuendos. Well, I don’t have him, he’s not mine or anything, I. Next question.

Have you ever been offered drugs but declined?
Just say no. I’m above the influence and straight edge and all that. I’m all kinds of straight, all the kinds of straight one can be.

Have you ever met someone who has completely altered your way of thinking?
No one comes to mind. Most people I know are like me; they go to the country club and come from good families. I certainly don’t know any leather jacket wearing rebels that are so comfortable about themselves and who they are, who make we wonder how to do that.

Have you ever been offered drugs and accepted?
Of course not! Wasn’t that already asked? Okay, maybe there was an occasion. It was just a puff or two of marijuana. Max and all his friends were around; they’re bad influences! Peer pressure is a real thing, okay?

I mean, I’m going to politely decline to answer this question.

Tell us something weird that turns you on.
There’s nothing weird, I’m just a totally normal guy who likes girls. Not leather jackets or a hint of stubble and a smoldering stare–

Um. No comment.

When did someone last admit romantic or sexual feelings for you? Was the feeling mutual?
Good lord. Absolutely no comment.

What is something you have given a lot of thought to lately?
College decisions. How closely I want to follow in my parent’s footsteps. Certain brunettes. Shit, how about some easier questions?

 Name one thing you wish you could change about your life right now.
This is definitely not easier.

What do you usually eat for breakfast?
There, perfect. I eat whatever the cook makes. Okay, it may not have yielded a very exciting answer but really this was a much better question.

When did you last swallow your beliefs to avoid an argument or confrontation?
Swallowed my beliefs? Isn’t this a bit harsh? So maybe I haven’t been as vocal as I could about wanting to attend Stanford, but it’s not that simple. My parents went to Princeton, their parents went to Princeton, so I’m just waiting for the right time to broach the subject. It’s strategic. Smart. Shut up.

Do you usually initiate hugs?
I’m a wasp. Wasps don’t hug.

Are you a very affectionate person?
I will refer you to the above.

 Do you think you’re a good person?
Who is to say what good means? I don’t murder anyone or play music without earphones in the library. I would say that I follow the rules and do whats expected of me and I generally try not to be a terrible person, but am I actually kind to people? Caring? Happy? I mean, good? I don’t know. Are these questions meant to be an emotional powder keg or is it just me?

What are you looking forward to?
Being done with high school. Starting my future. Being away from my parents. No, that’s far too harsh. Being an adult and making decisions for my self… And though I would absolutely deny it if asked again, maybe when Max isn’t around, I might look forward to seeing him again. Maybe. Just a little.

S-P-E-L-L-I-N-G B-E-E

Spell checking is vital component in my life. I’m a terrible speller. I vaguely remember school spelling bees where I was never the worst but I never won either. Yet somehow the Scripps National Spelling Bee is something I’ve loved for years.

Watching adorably awkward kids spell insane words and trying to guess them is fun for some reason. Back in 2015, both the winners were from the same region I was born in, and the girl who won from Olathe, KS, is from the same area I grew up in, so that was neat. They were my favorites to win just because of where they were from, but I normally root for whoever is funny and/or painfully shy (because the shy ones need the support!).

In What Love Means, the two main characters are former spelling bee competitors who are now helping their siblings with the bee. It’s the backdrop for the action, but you don’t have to like or know anything about spelling bees to read the book.

I took the official prelim test for the past year and was not at all surprised that I didn’t make the cut. Out of a possible 30 points, a score of 27 was needed to advance. I got a 25, which is actually pretty good for me. I got the majority of spelling questions wrong and most of the vocab questions right. Then I got the round two word right because I’ve read Harry Potter. How did you do on the test?