Plot Device

Have you ever read books before? If so, you know the part in every adventure/fantasy/epic series where the hero faces a mysterious journey. And nobody knows what’s going on, but then someone wise appears and is happy to tell the protagonist more about their destiny. Wow, how great is it they just happened to run into somebody who knows all the relevant information? Except then the wise person opens their mouth, wolves appear, and they totally get eaten by wolves.

To be fair, I guess that doesn’t happen in every adventure book. Only about half. In the other half, the Person Who Knows Everything has to be secretive and can’t tell the hero more because of reasons. Maybe the reasons are good. Maybe they aren’t. What the reader hears is, ‘This is a plot device, so I can’t tell you more information because that would be too easy.’

I was about to discuss something in Witch Eyes, but I can’t. Because of reasons! Actually, the reasons are simple and can be stated clearly, assuming I don’t get attacked by wolves  before completing the next sentence. I wanted to talk about something I appreciated in the novel and then I realized maybe I should be less direct because it’s technically a spoiler.

Witch Eyes uses one of the methods I described, or something similar, to avoid giving too much away. But it comes in spell form, which I really respect, making the plot device something magical. Instead of just writing around the plot device, it’s literally part of the story. Cool!

 

 

Go dancing, a M/M short story

Here is a short story, loosely inspired by the song “Stay Young, Go Dancing” by Death Cab for Cutie.

 

If all the world were a stage, I preferred a behind the scenes role. Yet all eyes were fixed on me as I puzzled my way through slow dancing. I was hyper aware of his warm hand in my own and the heavy weight of my partner’s other hand on my lower back. My dance partner! A bigger commitment couldn’t be assigned. We never even had a conversation before. He only stretched one arm out towards me, and now we were in the middle of the dance floor, two guys with a crowd of eyes watching.

With his dark hair, dark eyes, and an even darker tux, I had trouble looking away. The white dress shirt was unbuttoned at the top, the tie undone but the light purple scrap of fabric hanging loosely around his neck.

“Can’t say I expected this,” I spoke. I tried to follow his lead, the motions not practiced but fluid. “This is crazy.”

“You’re not the only one who thinks so,” he muttered, hand tightening against mine briefly while he glanced toward the spectators.

“It’s just, I’m nobody. And you’re–”

“We both got invited to the same wedding,” you protested.

“And I was under the impression you were, uh that dancing with me wasn’t something you would be interested in.” I should have just said ‘straight,’ but he reminded me of a skittish animal, like he might spook and bolt. I kept talking, perhaps to soothe him, though it mortified me. “This isn’t where I expected the night to go. Me touching your arms. You have nice arms.”

“Uh, thanks.” We spun, slowly. Enough to see two girls from the wedding party gawking. “God, do they have to stare so much?”

“Think so.”

“Don’t have to take their side.” The petulant quality to his voice seemed cute, less menacing without the usual stubble and leather jacket.

“You don’t have to tell people stuff if you aren’t ready, obviously, but. What did you think would happen?”

“I had no clue I would do this until I did. Also, I wasn’t sure you were gonna say yes.”

“You have very nice arms.”

He laughed. “You mentioned.”

We managed to dance without comment for a little while.

Close together with a stranger, someone I’d only seen from afar, it felt weird. Nice too. He smelled woodsy and like the lavender from the centerpieces. The bride’s little brother, he had stood on her side of the altar with women in identical champagne-colored dresses. The groom’s older sister stood on the groom’s side. Cobbling the honorifics together, he became the ‘man of honor,’ her the ‘best maid.’

“Why did you ask me to dance?” I wondered.

He nodded, indicating the happy bride. She picked her dress up as she spun around, showing her neon pink shoes covered with sparkles. The footwear didn’t match well with her color scheme, but I heard her thought process when getting punch. She was the bride, she could do what she wanted, and those shoes were worth clashing.

Even from here, we could hear her laugh. A bright sound as she spun again, her and the groom dancing with a group of kids. The song was slower, romantic, but that didn’t stop the kids or the happy couple.

“She’s really happy,” he noted. “Ecstatic. Annoyingly so.”

“She’s beautiful.”

“Yeah.” He smiled, watching as her and the ring-bearer grabbed hands and jumped up and down while the groom danced with a flower girl on his shoes. “She said why are you frowning, you should feel just as good as me.”

“Can’t say no to the bride?

“Wouldn’t be smart. She told me to dance with whoever I wanted and not to waste time on anyone else. I don’t think she imagined her advice would play out like this.”

The song changed, upbeat now, and fear crossed his face briefly. The song changed abruptly, back to another slower one, the bride lowering her hand after indicating to the DJ he should change it. We had a little more time.

“Regrets?” I wondered.

“Only that any kind of preparation for whatever comes next would have been smart. But holding you and swaying? I can do that.”

“Then I guess just focus on this part?”

“I can do that too.”

We kept dancing.

My TV broke and I had no idea

Quirky shows that nobody understands are right up my alley, and no matter how many times I tell myself not to get attached–confusing programs that make no sense don’t lead to ratings for some reason–I fall in love anyway. Though I think Dispatches from Elsewhere will at least get a resolution even if it’s not renewed because it’s an anthology show.

What is the series about? Guess. Really, your blind guess might be closer to the truth. Okay, I’ll try a summary. Four strangers are thrown together for what they think is a social experiment or something. It’s about characters doing stuff. They play games, dance with Bigfoot, and possibly don’t exist, so I really have no idea what’s happening. I still enjoyed whatever it is I watched.

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Photo from AMC

There’s also lots of art, music, and artistic, intellectual stuff that goes over my head. So due to this, and because it’s a crazy show where you have no clue what’s real, I didn’t question it when the episode started flickering in and out. It was subtle, and the characters were exploring in the dark. The effect worked, the light going in and out while they pondered the mystery of a possibly dead girl. Good job on the eeriness, show!

Except it kept flickering, becoming like a strobe light. Still, I figured it was part of the vibe. Everything is a little mystical, experimental, and odd, so the picture flickering wasn’t even the strangest part of the episode.

When the big, emotionally resonant part of the episode happened, and the whole screen turned black off and on, I finally realized there might be a problem with the TV. Because the big, emotionally resonant part would be more, you know, big and emotionally resonant if I could clearly see the character’s faces.

I watched almost a whole episode of the hour long show where the picture went from a little off to majorly screwed up. Elsewhere is the only show where I would think, ‘oh they’re just doing a thing’ and not ‘something’s broken.’ Something was broken. But it’s fixed now. Yay!

No me was harmed in the making of this post

There are days when you get lucky. With a lot of craziness going on in the world lately, maybe it’s important to appreciate the small miracles? Someone on TV said that the other day, so if you disagree, take it up with them.

I don’t usually think of myself as a bright side person, but here is an instance where it was easy to find a silver lining. At dinnertime yesterday, I began cooking a meal. Except I don’t do that. I started to microwave dinner. I had macaroni, with veggies dammit, because I’m a responsible adult/vegetarian. My meal was cooking when I looked at the counter and realized I never got an eating utensil out, so I did that.

Then the microwave dinged and I removed my food. As it turned out, I had indeed gotten an eating utensil out. A metal fork was in there with my food for about a minute. Yet nothing went wrong or exploded! While I’m not going to make a habit out of doing that, hopefully, it’s pretty cool for a one time thing.

klee-941597_640I have not yet decided whether this means I should buy a lottery ticket or whether I’ve used up all my luck and should do whatever the opposite of a lotto ticket is. Invest in a savings bond?

PS, I originally looked up kitchens when finding pictures for this post, which may not be obvious by the photos I chose. A fair number of kitchen results had no microwaves in them. I guess if you’re fancy enough to take pics of your kitchen and post them on the internet for others to view, you’re too good for a microwave. The other option is that I just didn’t notice the microwaves, which may be more likely. My ability to pay attention to detail can best be described as huh?

The end. I don’t say that at the end of every post. I felt like saying it now, so guess what? I did. Thank you and goodnight.

Life advice I’ve never taken: be slightly less unhinged

For some reason, I uploaded a bunch of image quotes I made for One Little Word all at the same time. I guess I was trying to be helpful and have them all in one place, which mostly means I have no idea which ones I’ve used already. This might not be a problem for those with better memories, but I’m only slightly exaggerating when I say I don’t even remember how I started this sentence.

Every time I post a quote, I resist the overwhelming urge to add that I’m pretty sure I haven’t posted this one yet. But maybe I have, so let’s just gloss over it if I posted this last week too. I figure putting it out there once is enough. In summation, if I post quotes more than once, please be cool about it. Thanks!

Also, yes, I did only say be cool because it’s in the quote below.

This excerpt involves a boy flipping out because he’s about to have lunch with another boy. This second boy is open to the possibility of being attracted to the first boy, which is where the insanity comes from. I could have just used their names instead of calling them boys, but I’m telling myself it’s too late to change that now.

Being attracted to someone is a totally understandable reason to be a lunatic. No, that’s not true at all. It’s not okay to be a lunatic in a dangerous way when you like someone. But it is okay to be a gigantic nervous weirdo in the romance department, lots of people aren’t smooth operators.

By reading this, you might think Ryan is a gigantic nervous weirdo when he has a crush. I want you to know that’s not true at all. Ryan is a gigantic nervous weirdo always, but in this case, he happens to be a weirdo and have a crush at the same time. This is an important distinction (no, it’s not.)

 

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Ryan

I had butterflies. Stupid, gigantic butterflies, furiously beating their wings inside my stomach. Was I going to burst into song? Was I going to throw up? Maybe!

Hopefully, I wouldn’t do either of those things. I just couldn’t say for sure.

I willed myself to still from where I was vibrating out of my skin. Be cool. No, that was impossible… be slightly less unhinged. I could try that.

Okay, I would walk into the cafeteria and sit down with the baseball guys, something I’d done multiple times before. No big deal.

Only…

There was a particular guy at the table. One who was interested. In me! He may not be Luke, but the problem was that Luke wasn’t interested.

Surely I’d gotten the neuroticism out last night. I went through every piece of clothing I owned trying to find the right thing to wear. I eventually picked out my best fitting pair of jeans, a black t-shirt, and a green plaid shirt to layer with. No need to dress up too much. Or drive myself crazy.

Or drive myself crazier? Because I was jumping up and down, just a little, where I stood. I tried to stop… nope, still rocking on my heels. I felt extremely excited.

 

Kissing Complications

Luke’s life quickly gets out of hand when his stupid mouth and dumb ideas lead to strange new places in One Little Word. An excerpt and image quote will follow after my nonsense.

The idea that immediately came to my head for a title was, Luke’s experiences aren’t universal. Maybe that needs more explaining. That’s a quote from Kimmy Schmidt. As I’m really lazy right now, and most of the time, I’m going to roll the dice and hope I spelled Schmidt right even though there’s no way. Oh, I spelled it a different way the second time and the red squiggly appeared, so hooray, I got it right once and still don’t need to open a different window to look it up. Small miracles, y’all. I will take it.

I’m not sure whether Luke’s experience with kissing a boy is universal or not. Maybe not exactly but it’s also not uncommon. Many guys kiss other guys. The part that’s less universal is kissing another boy as part of a fake dating scheme. Well, it is universal in romance novels. Like this one.

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Luke

Lunch went… awkwardly.

Duh. I had just sucked face with a guy in front of everyone in the cafeteria.

And I thought the stares were bad before.

No, everything was perfectly normal…

Yeah right, that wouldn’t work.

This wasn’t a video or a rumor. I had kissed a guy in public. Naturally, the atmosphere at the baseball table felt incredibly tense.

I insisted the earlier kiss wasn’t real. I told the team that Ryan and I weren’t together. Then I kissed him in front of everyone, and now we were having lunch with my shell-shocked team.

There had never been this much quiet at the table before. Without anyone speaking, my thoughts were loud. My mind kept repeating that I had kissed Ryan in front of everyone. It wouldn’t let that go.  I couldn’t quite wrap my brain around it.

I kissed Ryan. Yep, there I went again. I hoped it would stop being true somehow. Wait, oh god. Instead of helping, I made things worse.

Because I couldn’t just say I kissed Ryan. That wasn’t enough. It had happened more than once, so the specific time would need to be specified.

I was a guy who had kissed another guy enough times to need clarification when referencing the touching of our lips.

Mental malfunctions

Do you ever have a moment at three in the afternoon where you’ll like, damn I’m hungry, and then you realize you haven’t had anything to eat? Maybe not if you don’t have hyperfocus and ADHD. Occasionally, that happens to me. My two speeds for concentration are, oh hey, did you see this cute dog on the internet and on the other end, ALL FREAKING IN.

This is all I have to talk about now because  I’m very hungry, but the food I warmed up is still too hot to eat. I do have a quote from One Little Word to share, so I guess I’ll do that.

I was going to provide the relevant information here before the excerpt, but then I realized that it’s literally a guy crushing on another guy. So that’s all the details right there.

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Ryan

Luke was one of my new friends. Making nice and getting to know him seemed like a good idea at the time. He apologized and he was my boyfriend as far as the principal was concerned.

However, once I stopped despising a guy that hot, I was doomed. Hell, once I fell into his arms like a damsel in distress, I was doomed. Saving me gave him a clean slate and made him instantly crush worthy.

Hating him had provided some protection from his stupidly attractive face. Now all I noticed was the green of his eyes, the way the light looked in his hair. Anytime the dimples appeared, a small electrical fire started in my brain and I lost all cognitive function while repairs were made.

 

Tina Turner is still alive

Did you know the song Simply the Best is by Tina Turner? If you’re me, you definitely didn’t know that until right now. And if your first question after hearing the name Tina Turner is, hey, is she still alive? Yes! She’s Swiss now so that’s cool.

True story, I don’t like ballads. Which is less a story and more a sentence about my musical preferences. Simply the Best is no exception, so I’m not a fan of the song. However, I do like Tina Turner and have vague memories of trying to dance like her when I was a toddler. It’s a really good thing no photographic evidence of that exists because it sounds very embarrassing for me.

As someone with no musical ability, it’s crazy how someone can take a song and sing it differently and then I love it. Is it magic? I have no idea! I really love this version of the song by Noah Reid.

 

 

Screw Ups, a love story

And now a moodboard for One Little Word. In this story, a cocky jock tries to avoid trouble while creating an arguably bigger mess.

Ryan

Luke fidgeted, still avoiding my gaze. “I could have been suspended. I got detention instead. Because, uh.”

The moment felt solemn. I’d never seen the big man on campus act less than totally confident and self-assured. I waited with bated breath, almost afraid I would pass out. That’s how long it took him to speak again.

Finally, the wait ended.

“I told them I’m gay.”

The solemn mood evaporated. I burst out laughing. He looked annoyed at my outburst, but this was the most hilarious thing I’d ever heard. I couldn’t stop giggling.

“I also said we’re dating,” Luke told me next.

That shut me up.