What Love Means Excerpt


“This isn’t spelling, it’s chemistry. We have it. Why fight it?”

“That’s so cheesy.” It was but I didn’t care. It was true. We stared at each other and just when I thought I was going to drown in the sexual tension or he was going to kiss me right here in public in a middle school cafeteria, he broke away. Good, I still wasn’t anymore decided on the subject. I protested because it felt like I needed to, because I worried it couldn’t be as easy as he made it sound. But what if it could be?

I wasn’t considering his offer. I just. I wasn’t not considering it. Shit.

“You can tell yourself whatever you want,” he said lowly, “but this tension, this energy between us, it isn’t all one sided.”

It was hard to deny that when just his deep voice close to my ear sent shivers up my spine. So instead of pretending there was nothing between us, I just said, “It’s not a good idea.”



I expected Max to scoff, leave my side, or maybe get pissed off. He only squeezed my hand softly, eyes fixed on the stage. A small smile quirked his lips up. I got the feeling he didn’t mind that I hadn’t given in. Why didn’t he care?

Max had a thrill-seeking, daredevil streak in him that made flying down the road on a tiny piece of metal exciting when there were bigger, stronger pieces of machinery out there that could flatten him in an instant. He probably cranked the throttle and went fast, over the speed limit definitely, and pushed his bike to the limit. That all meant he’d like the chase. Shit. I couldn’t say yes yet, but I couldn’t, wouldn’t, didn’t want to say no. It seemed like he was up for the challenge of wearing down what little resistance I had. I’d never been pursued before. Shit, maybe I was a bit of thrill seeker too. I’d been too busy burying myself in books to realize it, but here I was, on the verge of something with him and so eager for it even if I couldn’t quite give in. Yet.

I didn’t know what I was getting myself into, but I was becoming certain I wanted whatever it was.

– What Love Means

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